How to Know if Your child Needs Help
It is often difficult to know if a child (under age 12) needs help. Children are so
involved with family that sometimes the problems of parents become confused with the
problems of the child. Divorce, death of a family member, moving, change of parent's job
and attending a new school may all be sources of stress for children. In figuring out if
your child needs help, keep in mind that an appropriate reason to consider treatment for a
child is if he or she is generally unhappy.
The following checklist includes some of the signs which should help you decide if your
child would benefit from therapy. You may want to find help for your child if any of these
warning signs has been present for some time.
Some Warning Signs
Your child:
 | Displays unusual changes in emotions or behavior. |
| Has no friends or has difficulty getting along with other children. |
| Is doing poorly in school, misses school frequently or does not want to attend. |
| Has lots of minor illnesses or accidents. |
| Is very fearful. |
| Is very aggressive. |
| Does not want to be away from you. |
| Has many disturbing dreams. |
| Has difficulty falling asleep, wakes up during the night, or insists on sleeping with
you. |
| Suddenly refuses to be alone with a certain family member or friend or acts very
disturbed when he or she is present. |
| Displays affection inappropriately or makes abnormal sexual gestures or remarks. |
| Becomes suddenly withdrawn or angry. |
| Refuses to eat. |
| Is frequently tearful. |
Some of these problems may be relieved by working with the teacher, counselor, or
school psychologist. Help may come from concerned family members who offer reassurance,
love and the most secure home environment possible.
Many will require help from a mental health professional.
Parents may experience a tremendous feeling of guilt because their child is having
emotional or behavioral problems. You need to realize these problems may have little to do
with the home or school environment; they may be caused by physiological factors. The
child should have a complete medical examination before starting therapy.
Choosing a Mental Health Professional for a Child
A mental health professional for your child should be warm and caring, aware of your
cultural background and needs, and still be professional and objective. Parents and
children should begin to feel comfortable after several sessions, though both may be
anxious, frightened, angry or resistant to treatment at the beginning. A good mental
health professional will be trained to anticipate and work with those emotions so that
open communication can be established. To select a mental health professional, you may
want to interview more than one person, using Choosing a
mental health professional as a guide.
It is important for parents to understand that there may be certain aspects of the
therapy that should remain confidential between the mental health professional and the
child. Before treatment begins, the parents, the child and the therapist should come
to an agreement as to what information will be disclosed to the parents.
How Therapy Works With Children
When your child is in therapy, the relationship between the mental health professional and
the child is the same as it would be with an adult, but you as the parent will be involved
as an interested third party. Early in therapy, you and the therapist should be able to
identify the child's main problems and set goals to solve them.
There
are many therapeutic techniques that are used with children. One is play therapy, which
offers children a natural means to communicate with adults. Through the use of games,
dolls and art, the child can express difficult emotions. Older children with better
communication skills may be able to talk more directly with the mental health
professional.
A mental health professional may suggest other family members come for a number of
sessions to help understand how your family works as a system. He/she may suggest new ways
to relate to your child at home.
It may take time for your child to get comfortable in therapy. Just as with adults and
adolescents, problems may become worse before they get better.
Try to get your child to stick with therapy until he/she feels comfortable. However, if
the child seems to distrust the therapist after a time, it is a good idea to consider
another professional.
Evaluating Therapy for Children
It is as important in child therapy as it is in adult therapy to evaluate the progress of
the treatment and the relationship with the therapist. After your child has been in
therapy for a while, ask yourself the following questions to determine if therapy is
working. If the answer to most of them is "yes," then you should be confident
that therapy is helping. If the answer to most of them is "no," then you may
want to get a second opinion from another mental health professional and consider making a
change in your child's treatment.
Sometimes, ending therapy will be an anxious time for children and parents.
